By: Jenny Sherman
Before there were prenups, there was the ketubah. One of the earliest Jewish marriage contracts dates from 440 b.c.e. Within 400 years, illustrative elements were added, and it was modified until a formula was set. This contract, historically presented by the groom to the bride, outlines his obligations to her. It also protects her in case of his death, desertion, or divorce. Among the first legal documents protecting women’s rights in marriage, the ketubah was ahead of its time.
Many Jewish women still embrace the ketubah. Sure, the document’s original wording notes dowries and how many silver pieces the man must reserve for his betrothed; but most modern brides don’t take the text literally. (When’s the last time you knew a groom who saved 200 zuzzim for his wife?) Instead, women view the ketubah’s archaic text as a beautiful metaphor—or update the language to more accurately express their relationship. “We did not promise each other any goats or gold coins, but we thought it was important to spell out what our marriage is about,” says Ilana Polyak, 37, who married Jean-Paul Maitinsky, 41, in New York last summer. The couple chose an egalitarian text in English accompanied by Hebrew. “The ketubah is a promise we made to each other,” Polyak says. “We didn’t just whisper it quietly in the dark one night—we put it down on paper. It was read aloud in front of 100 people, and we signed our names to it. We take this seriously.”
Besides being proof of a couple’s commitment, modern ketubot (plural of ketubah) are artistic pieces of Judaica. “Mostly, people want a ketubah to be a beautiful piece of artwork,” says Judy Freeman, a Minnesota-based ketubah artist who describes a resurgence of interest in ketubot over the past two decades. While wedding photos and videos will be put in a drawer, she says, “ketubahs will hang on your wall and be a source of pride and remind you to love each other forever.”
Ketubot are available with a variety of texts—including those used by Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform denominations, as well as interfaith and egalitarian texts and commitment vows for same-gender couples. The Traditional text, used by Orthodox and Conservative communities, is written in Aramaic, the common spoken language of Jews in centuries past. Besides some variations in spellings, the wording is virtually the same as when the text was originally written.
Some Conservative groups include the Lieberman Clause. It stipulates that a couple seeking a civil divorce appear before the Rabbinic Assembly and agree to their binding arbitration. The assembly can compel the husband to grant his wife a get (a Jewish divorce), which allows the woman to remarry. The clause won’t necessarily hold up in American civil courts.
Egalitarian texts are the most common among liberal Jewish communities, such as Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal, and Humanistic, and among unaffiliated Jews. These texts vary, but typically include pledges of devotion and sentimental expressions written in both Hebrew and English (or another language significant to the couple). Interfaith texts can include sections in Hebrew and any other language. A variety of texts containing commitment vows have been written for same-gender partners.
Talk with the rabbi officiating at your wedding before choosing your ketubah text; the language will depend on the type of ceremony. Also consider whether it is important to you that your ketubah be recognized as a valid contract in Israel, which would become important if you or your children wanted to move there. The Traditional Aramaic text is the only ketubah text recognized in Israel. Alternative texts generally cannot be used to guarantee a woman’s rights or as proof of her being Jewish.
Want a legal contract, but also beautiful wording that represents your partnership? Either include two texts (the legal Aramaic and another of your choice), or get two ketubot—one artistic and romantic, the other an “official” one.
1. Types of prints and paper.
When not an original work of art, a ketubah is available as a fine-art print in two forms. Lithographs are mass-produced, high-quality art reproductions that usually must be personalized with the couple’s information by hand after they are printed. Giclées (pronounced zhee-clayz) are prints created from a digital image by a high-end ink-jet printer. Printed one at a time, and incorporating digital calligraphy, giclées can easily be personalized. Both are printed on acid-free art papers using archival, pigmented inks; both should be guaranteed to be fadeproof for more than 100 years.
2. Date and location
The Hebrew date is listed. Keep in mind whether or not the wedding take places before or after sunset—if it’s after sunset, it is considered to be the next Hebrew day. Also included are the city and state or country where the ceremony is held.
3. Names Traditional texts include
the Hebrew names of the bride, the groom, and their fathers. Modern texts generally also include the mothers’ Hebrew names. English texts usually include the names of the bride, groom, bride’s parents, and groom’s parents. Some interfaith and Humanist versions of the ketubah can omit the parents’ names, with the officiant’s approval. An abbreviation for “of blessed memory”
in Hebrew can be added to names if a parent is deceased.
4. Text
A ketubah can have texts in Aramaic, English, Hebrew, Spanish, Russian, or any language a couple desires—even multiple languages. The wording of the Aramaic text is the same in all ketubot, and is almost never translated literally into English. Instead, texts in other languages summarize the intent of the Aramaic wording, or include personalized vows, poetry, verses from the Torah, or other meaningful phrases.
5. Calligraphy versus printed type
Though more personal than printed type, calligraphy is time-consuming and expensive: A standard ketubah with texts in English and Hebrew can take a calligrapher from a day to several weeks to complete. Printed ketubot, like the one on the opposite page, have blank spaces in the text so they can be personalized with the couple’s information (e.g. names, date, and the ceremony location) and thus take much less time to fill in.
6. Witnesses
The Traditional Aramaic text has lines on which two witnesses sign their names, confirming that the union is official. Witnesses must be Jewish, unrelated to the couple, and approved by the rabbi. Orthodox and some Conservative rabbis will ask that both witnesses be men. For ketubot
with modern text, brides, grooms, and wedding officiants also sometimes sign.
7. Signing
Sign using a ballpoint pen with fadeproof and waterproof ink. Never use a felt-tip or fountain pen, as these can smear or bleed. Test the pen on the very edge of the ketubah or on a separate piece of paper before signing.
8. Design elements
Text can be surrounded by a vast array of decorative elements significant to Judaism or specifically to the couple, or for purely aesthetic purposes. Flowers, trees, and birds generally represent growth, beauty, and nature, while other common motifs include mosaic designs, the
lions of Judea, and the Star of David. Borders may be formed by intricate
arabesques, lines of poetry, or verses from the Song of Songs.
9. Displaying your ketubah
At the reception, cover the ketubah with a clear mat or other protective layer to keep food and drink away while guests view it. At home, ketubot are usually framed and hung on the wall. Make sure to have a professional framer mount it using archival materials.
10. Original art versus fine-art print
An original piece of art will cost around $500 and up, while fine-art prints start at around $200. Original commissions take longer to fulfill—up to three months from start to finish—compared with prints, which can be shipped in three to six weeks, depending on whether or not the artist is hand-lettering your personal information.
